鬼王候選人

「要喺地獄成為鬼王，或佔一席位，競爭真係好大！強如我 —— 新拾蚊紙，自二零零二年七月面世以來，不停被各方強者挑戰，真係身心疲憊。趁今晚『哈囉喂』，幾唔得閒都要出嚟宣傳一下自己！」



「可能較後生嘅觀眾見慣咗九彩嘅銀紙世界，唔覺得我有幾強。但我要話俾大家知，先河係由我創嘅！唔好睇小我嘅來頭呢！就此，我專程坐時光機返到二零零二年十月，搵咗康港設計之父石漢瑞先生嚟為我拉票！」(呢度嗰幾條騎呢騷寫手，冇嚟聲望，邊夠班同牙力㗎！？)

《Garish design of new HK bank note makes life easier for forgers》— Media, 18 October 2002

I once stayed at a hotel in mid-Manhattan named Elysée. It had been awarded the sobriquet 'Easy Lay' by past guests, among them Tennessee Williams.

Perhaps he preceded me in a room with particularly garish wallpaper that might have accelerated his demise. Such tastelessness helped send off an earlier playwright. More of that later.

Our new HK$10 bank notes boast patterns and colours similar to those which the Elyée’s room burned into my retina. Their coupon-like vulgarity has already been widely disparaged; they stand apart from the existing currency like a bruised thumb.

Aesthetics are helpful in paper currency, but there are more serious issues: security and symbolism.

Among the few features to prevent counterfeiting accessible to the ordinary user is the hexagonal see-through which shows a horse when hold to the light. Its registration allows for considerable printing tolerance (aka forger friendliness) due to the spokes that overlap the various bits of the animal.

While the watermark of a Bauhinia blossom is a classic security device, the intaglio or raised printing will not be of universal value; many Hong Kong people handing bank notes wear gloves, especially in the wet markets.

Generally, the gaudy colouring and manic patterns will allow criminals to take advantage of the fact that subtlety is harder to reproduce that its opposite.

Other than a largish Chinese character for 10, on both sides, which – rather than reflecting the highest standards of calligraphy – appears to have been drawn by a Dutchman, what is of greater concern to me as a branding specialist are the absent or ambiguous references to our city.

Why a see-through horse? At first glance it reminds one of Lloyds Bank’s prancing black stallion, adding to the ambiguity. One is hardly reassured that the current zodiac animal in the lunar calendar is its reference, not the Jockey Club. Does this mean we shall have a see-through goat come next year?

Beyond these we can discern no images relating to Hong Kong, no scenes, no symbols – not even a junk. Icons reassure both residents and visitors. Currency, along with a flag and an airline or two, is a declaration of identity and a statement of aspiration. How much easier to wallpaper these new notes rather than take a visual stand reflective of Hong Kong. The lesson to bureaucrats: please don’t design.

One the new note there is a white shape around the watermark which looks suspiciously like a light bulb. Perhaps it symbolises the bright ideas of civil servants, smoothly delivered on time and within budget.

Back to the deathbed of Oscar Wilde in a shabby Left Bank hotel named L’Alsace – sobriquet unknown. Looking around the room, he said, effectively, “Either that wallpaper goes or I do.”

— Henry Steiner is the founder of Steiner & Co.

「地獄設計地獄到一個地埗可以引來罪犯垂青，做到 forger-friendly，你話嘞，夠邪惡啦啩？！」

發展過甚麼?

上星期看杜琪峰接受甘國亮的訪問，談到藝發局和整個創作氣候，雖然老生常談(老早講過我們沒有新血，杜sir話齋：「啲新人硬係撻唔著火。」)，但說話出自一個局內人口中，始終有擲地有聲的感覺。說他囂張也好不可一世也好，事實就是事實，不容否認。

說來諷刺，我雖然在做切雞，但跟美藝有關的學科幾乎都只發生於六年的小學生涯。上到中學，美術根本是可有可無的一科，連美術學會都是由一群立心不良、只懂畫火柴人的契弟組成(簡直是一個預告!)，去到中三，課程甚至刪走了這個學科。藝術創作根本未被重視過，談甚麼「文化氛圍」？連個像樣的文化中心和美術館也沒有，審美眼光和鑿賞能力自小已經發育不健全，從未被開發過，攪到大家醜怪當漂亮，肉麻當有趣。

說到藝術發展，前人講來講去就是要官府灌水、資助。施政報告發出來，連演藝界阿姐都公開說四千萬太少 。請容我跟杜sir口水尾，現在不是表演場地多寡、資金長短問題，問題是大家想點？官府有沒有一個長遠計劃去發展本地創作？不要亂講甚麼「香港流行文化產業在區內一直佔領先地位」的廢話，領先地位不是自己話係就係，領先甚麼？領先醜?領先抄襲?領先乏味？簡直笑死狗。不敢講藝發局有份俾錢的全是劣貨，但大家有眼睇，根本乜都得，全無標準可言。說政府孤寒？喂闊佬也不見得攪到好東西出來呀。所以不要說四千萬少，四千蚊我都嫌多，反正一直對錯症落錯藥，何況患病的先天性營養不良，再多時間金錢都是費時失事。

正如杜sir在訪問開首所講，個人力量與信念非常重要。尤其在如此環境下，更加相信這句說話的價值。

相關資料：
屍政報告
偽發局

新不如舊

這是大約一九八五年開始出版的新版衛斯理系列。封面乾淨利落、簡單但有神秘感，個人感覺是現在再看也不覺過時。

這是明窗二十周年的紀念版。請告訴我這只不過是腦環同或軟硬體的學生習作(而且是劣等生):

這彷彿是衛斯理其中一個故事的老土寓言：科技不斷進步，人腦不斷退化。